Finding a new path

Why do we do the things we do, when we know the things we know?

The question has plagued mankind and his therapist's throughout history. Given the information that has been compiled for all of us over thousands of years, why do we have such difficulty with some simple concepts? For instance we all know what it takes to stay at an ideal weight. Simple! Just eat the right foods in the right quantities and get enough exercise to burn any excess calories. But how many Americans are overweight or worse obese? The answer is - far too many to be just part of the normal averages. Some might say "It's hereditary, my whole family is overweight." Look up metabolism on MayoClinic.com you will see that large or obese people have a higher Base Metabolic Rate BMR than skinny people. Or that it's difficult to figure out the right portions. If that were their true reason, logically the answer would be to just err on the side of caution and when you got too skinny add a little extra food. Of course people don't behave logically when it comes to food. For that matter we don't behave logically in many matters that affect our well being. Finances are another area that many of us falter at. How many people spend more money than they make? We all know how to add, yet we still run short. Why do we justify making credit card purchases for items we may not necessarily need and cannot afford at the time. Convenience? It's not that simple. When we bought something on credit, if the true cost were posted on that item, including all the interest and other charges incurred by the time the purchase was paid down, we would never buy that item. The true cost would not justify the convenience. There are so many other areas in our lives where we make decisions contrary to our best interests.

But why? Many times we get motivated enough to do something about it, to affect some true change in our lives. Going to the Gym, getting on a diet, cutting up the credit cards and many other drastic moves to change for the better. For most of us though it's very short lived, before long we somehow find ourselves back into the same old habits. There's a clue, habits, bad habits. So we want to break the habit, or form new habits, so many catch phrases, so few results.

For too many people that habit of getting back into old habits is debilitating or even fatal and it saddens me, makes me want to do something about it. Why? Why? But cigarettes are addicting, it's hard to break the addiction. Harder than losing a lung? How about monitoring your blood sugar and adjusting your diet to keep Diabetes in check, to keep from having to amputate another limb, before going blind? Not hard to do! Logically. Yet people continue to do these things time and time again.

These are just some common examples of things we do that aren't in our best interest. If we changed our daily habits just a little bit, the compounding effect over years of time, would deliver a completely different outcome. Grandchildren on our knee, listening to our advice on living right. Money in our accounts, for doing what we want to do. Peace of mind, knowing that we have done the best with what we were given in life. Good health and prosperity. Who wouldn't want that?

The opposite? Poor health, pain and suffering. Becoming a physical and finacial burden on our families. Setting a poor example for them to follow. Feeling deep regret for knowing deep down inside that we could have done better, should have done better. Why?

Conditioning

In a word, conditioning. People are creatures of habit. When we become conditioned to doing something a certain way, we cling to that habit as if our life depended on it. Even if it kills us! Our past conditioning has come from many different sources. Much of it was heaped on us as we were growing up, by our parents, teachers, friends, media and role models. Who thinks our kids could use some better role models these days? MTV is not cutting it! Some of it was deliberate. Ronald McDonald telling your kids to come in and get the newest toy in the "Happy Meal" (TM). Credit card companies, Magic Johnson for Rent a Center, "You can achieve your goals" WTH? Some parents or other adults are deliberate in their abusive condescending remarks to children, which later results in low self esteem. Low self esteem is largely responsible for many of the poor decisions we make on our own parts. Much of it is just innocent though. The odd remark here or there. "She's such a chubby little girl" Duh! ya big dummy" or here's one I've heard way too many times "I know a guy whose Grandfather smoked 3 packs a day and lived to be 90 years old" and "I could walk out on the street tomorrow and get run over by a truck, I'm going to enjoy my life" I don't buy that one! "The rich get richer, the poor get poorer" How many times have we heard these and so many more? Programming. Plus we never knew, as children that we would pretty much mirror the five people we hung around with the most. We still do by the way, in case you weren't aware of it. So be careful how you choose your acquaintances.

Whatever the reason, good bad or indifferent, we end up with a set of personal philosophies that drive our actions though our subconscious minds. Even when our education tells us differently, we stick to our guns. Once these ideas become established in our subconscious, it is very difficult to change them. Ever have that conversation with someone who seemed intelligent enough, but was so illogical that you just couldn't understand how they came to the conclusions they had? Even when it was clearly shown otherwise, they would stick to there story? (Maybe he's saying the same thing about you right now.) Programing. We all do it, in some area of our life. I can see Mr. Spock nodding his head right now. We are all creatures of habit.

A new path

Habits formed by programming are a lot like a path or trail through a field of high grass. After the same path gets used regularly for a while a clear trail starts to form and it becomes easy to follow and very familiar. After a while you are able to follow it without even paying attention. What happens if you try to take a different route through the same field? At first it will be very difficult and unfamiliar forging a new path. To make matters worse, if you don't use the new path regularly, the grass quickly covers the new trail, making it difficult to make out and follow exactly again. The high grass also covers up many hidden obstacles that you are likely to find unexpectedly. When you hit a tough obstacle you must either break through it or find another way around it. Causing you to forge another new path. What happens though if you forge a new path, get around all the obstacles and use it regularly for a while? A clear new trail starts to form. Not only that but if you stick to using the new trail long enough, the grass starts growing over the old trail and over time it completely disappears leaving only the new path as the obvious way through the field. So we must set a new path for our old habits.

So now, how do we go about re-setting that programming, to work for us rather than against us?

It's not too difficult, but it takes a conscious effort to reprogram our subconscious.

A positive start

There's more to positive thinking than you might think

It has been demonstrated time and again that our actions always gravitate to our most predominant thoughts so obviously positive thoughts lead to positive actions and negative thoughts lead to negative actions. The mind, especially at the subconscious level also has a hard time focusing on the reverse (negative) of something. For instance, "I will quit smoking", "I will get out of debt" or "I will lose weight". So we need to replace them with better phrases.

Classic example of this would come from my days of riding dirt bikes. Experienced riders will always tell you not to look at the ruts in the track or road but to focus on where you want to go. Great advice until you try it in real life at about 35 miles per hour coming around a blind bend. Ahhh! giant deep ruts in the road, you're looking at them and in a split second surmise that it would not be wise to get into one of them at high speed. Guess what happens, like a moth to a flame, in your mind you are saying no no no stay out of that deep one. Bam! crash, over the handle bars. So how do we react to that painful experience? Usually we react to the pain much like we do to other painful life experiences. Most of us slow way down, being super cautious for a while especially around the unfamiliar turns in the road. Some people quit riding motorcycles altogether and curse the evil contraption for the rest of their lives. A small percentage of riders will hop right back on before their broken parts are even healed and blast off blindly around the next turn. Funny thing is that even they will learn, after many more crashes albeit, how to ride proficiently. Anyone that sticks with it long enough, will eventually learn to focus on where they are going, rather on where not to go, and become comfortable with riding.

So back to positive thinking. Positive thoughts and words, when spoken in the present tense and in the affirmative, have a powerful affect on our behavior. The proper phrasing for instance would be "Focus on the best and clearest path to get you to your destination." rather than "Don't look at the ruts!" Otherwise, the first time you come upon a huge rut at high speed, you'll be saying DON'T LOOK AT THE RUT! while you are staring right at it. So some other ways to phrase things in the positive and present tense would be "I don't enjoy smoking any more, I am an ex smoker" or "I'm spending my money much more wisely now and my debt is disappearing" or how about "I am watching what I eat so that I can maintain my optimum health". Just saying these things consciously, often enough can have a powerful effect on re-programming your subconscious mind. This in turn will affect your daily behavior, which will cause you to form new habits, which will completely change your outlook on anything you apply it to.

But I've tried that "positive thinking" stuff

Here's the catch. Many people try it without a complete understanding of the the process. You might be saying "I think I can, I think I can" "i know i can..... i know..i ...can" All the while the voices in the back of your head (the committee) are saying, that "positive thinking" mumbo jumbo never works. The first problem here is, that is your past programing talking back there - and all of them want to be right. If you can understand and get past that one obstacle - those voices -you are on your way. The first step to take is to get rid of the "quotation marks" around positive thinking! Keep doing it for a few weeks and you will see things differently, then the voices will subside, then you will believe in the process.

We usually find what we're looking for

Here's something to consider. We may not always get everything we want, but we usually get everything we expect. We usually find what we're looking for. Have you ever bought a new car and then started noticing all the other cars of the same model around you? You're thinking wow, now everyone else went out and got the same car as me. How about first time parents? You notice all the other pregnant women around and the later all the newborn babies. That's just our subconscious mind driving our attention to our predominant thoughts.

Here's another thing to consider. If you have a young child and adore the precious little thing, you will notice every tender moment between a parent and child. When you do come across a misbehaved child, throwing a tantrum, being mean and rude to others, your thoughts might go along the line of either blaming the parent for creating a monster or feeling bad that the child was never taught proper behavior. But what if you were called a "rotten kid" many times as a child? What would be your thought process then? You'd probably walk right by quiet little infants in their carriers and barely notice them but every time you see the child throwing a tantrum here come the thoughts. Depending on how you were raised, it might be "That rotten kid, I'd never put up with that! I'd _________ that kid right there on the spot!" Programming, and you would absolutely believe every word you thought! We usually find what we are looking for. So what are you looking for? You might want to reprogram that - because right now (sobering thought for the moment) you are finding everything you're looking for.

Finish the sentence

Kids should be seen and not _____. Never talk to _________. If you want something done right, do it ________. Life's a _____. Programming. How about; Mac________ is our kind of place, because it's _______ place. Programming. Two all beef patties _______ _____ lettuce cheese pickles onions on a ______ ____ ___. Programming. For the older crowd; Plop plop fizz fizz __ ____ _ ______ __ __. Programming. Winston taste's good like a _________ ______. Programming.

How many times have we heard "The system works against the little guy, you just can't beat the system" Programming. May I ask, who the system is? "All the big corporations. All the powerful rich people. The greedy politicians" We hear these arguments almost every day. What about Bill Gates? "Ah lucky computer geek, was in the right place at the right time" Barrack Obama? "Ah.........shuddup". Truth is we can place ourselves anywhere on the socio-economic ladder of life that we choose to, plain and simple. It just depends on our beliefs. We usually find everything we're looking for.

What a concept!

We can place ourselves anywhere on the ladder we choose! It just depends on what we choose to believe. As the late great Jim Rhon would say "We don't need a minimum wage, 'cause it's a ladder, you're not stuck anywhere on it! You can climb as high as you like. You just have to increase your value" Now for someone who doesn't choose to increase their value, they might like the minimum wage idea but that's all they'll ever earn."

Re-programming

So how do we re-program ourselves. As I said earlier, start with positive thinking but sometimes that's not enough, the past programming is too strong. The voices won't go away.

I'm going to give you some powerful techniques that I've used myself and I can attest to their effectiveness. The results will be astounding for you as well, if you give it a fair try. Now don't give up on the positive thinking, it's an integral part of the process. These techniques should be used in conjunction with positive thinking.

To get started you should choose any area of your life that you would like to change but just start with one so that your mind can get used to the process. Later, after experiencing success in one area, you can move on to others. Remember, you can choose to make any area of your life drastically different than it currently is, just by re-programming your subconscious mind.

Let's start with something simple and later I'll tell you why but lets start simple. Lets say you want to lose about 15 lbs and get into better shape. Lets say you don't want to have a heart attack and die. Simple. You need to set a goal for that and put a deadline to it. Easy enough, most of us have done it before. Here's the important part, we must have that goal in writing, it must be present tense, in positive form and as clear and simple as you can write it. What exactly does that mean? Here we go, first off we don't want to -lose weight- because we have an uncanny ability to find anything we've lost. And it's not "I want to" or even "I will" because as I mentioned earlier the subconscious mind only deals in what you are. Also we don't want to "get in better shape" for the same reasons. Also it doesn't deal well with opposites. We never want our goals to be something we will stop doing or not do. You can't say "I'll never eat junk food again" The subconscious will register "eat junk food again" Don't ask me why but that's how it works, I didn't make the rules, I just know what works. You will want to keep that written goal somewhere that you will see it every day, in this case, the refrigerator might be a good place. You could also keep it in your purse or wallet, or on the bathroom mirror. Anywhere that you will see it daily. Lets just use as an example

"June 1st 2011 I am only eating what makes me healthy and I weigh (pick a target weight)".

We have a goal, a target date for it and an action plan to accomplish it. Now for the most powerful part of this plan. Go to any stationary store or department store and get a pack of 5"x7" note pads. They are cheaper by the 5 pack and you'll want to have a few of them to work on your bigger goals as you find success with the process. Take one note pad and write on the first page in large letters MY 2011 HEALTH GOAL (or whatever the goal is) below that write out the goal as you have it written on your fridge or wherever you chose. So here is our example below.

MY 2011 HEALTH GOAL

JUNE 1ST 2011 I AM ONLY EATING WHAT MAKES

ME HEALTHY AND I WEIGH 170 LBS

Now we keep this note pad somewhere that we can see it and easily pick it up every day to write in. I live out of my pickup truck and it is the one place I'm in and out of all day long so I keep mine in my vehicle. You can keep it anywhere handy for you. Every day you pick up your pad and write your goal and action for achieving it 20 times. In this case it would be - I only eat what makes me healthy and I weigh 170 lbs. 20 times, every day! Those 5"x7" pads have 21 lines on them so on the last line I write I know what to do - I do what I know. Do this every day for a while and soon enough, when you go for lunch and are figuring out what to eat, as you look at two different items and one is better for you, you will see that notepad with your handwriting on it, in your head, as clear as day. Soon enough that notepad will show up every time you think of eating anything that doesn't make you healthy. You will also notice articles on How to find healthy foods and on exercise programs. Or you might meet someone that asks you to join them on a hike. Reprogramming. Your subconscious mind will eventually become completely re wired for a healthy lifestyle and anything less will make you feel very uncomfortable. Like the new trail in the deep grass it will be the only logical way to go. Keep doing this until it is completely etched in your mind permanently. How do you know when that has happened. It's easy, when looking at junk food makes you feel uncomfortable. When you see someone else who looks like they don't eat properly and you want to tell them about it. When you get into an argument with someone about your new philosophy. You'll know when it's sunk in because it becomes who you are.

Be careful what you ask for

I heard a story about a group of people who were asked to write their long term goals out and seal them up for 5 years. They planned to get together then and see how far they had come towards reaching those goals. When the group got together 5 years later, the envelopes were opened one by one. One of the envelopes had a piece of paper and written on it was "This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, I probably won't even be here with you guys in five years". He wasn't, he was dead.

Outside of that extreme, you must still be very careful what you ask for. Vague ideas and concepts have little meaning to your subconscious mind. It only deals in specifics so be very specific about how you will achieve your goal. DANGER - never use "What ever it takes" as a statement of how you intend to achieve your goal. I won't even go into the possible consequences of that statement.

Also make sure your goal is congruent with those around you that you wish to stay harmonious with. If your partner loves to eat and doesn't want to change anything it could lead to serious problems with the relationship. Another great example would be one partner wanting to change spending habits and the other not wanting to. Wow, that will lead to serious problems so think your choices over very carefully before deciding to make a permanent change. I know from my own experience that it changes the way you look at everything and everyone, regardless of how you felt before. So work together with those close to you, on positive goals that benefit all. Make sure you're in it! Don't set a goal for my team winning the State Championships, they might do it without you. (I'm just sayin) Be careful!

Important reminders. You must seek an outcome that you not only are physically capable of doing. If you are 5' 0" no matter how many times you say it you're not going to make it big in the NBA (as a player) You could make it as a coach or any other position if you believed in yourself. And you must do the action, get the training required to achieve the outcome. You can't just wish your way to success. Finally, never sell yourself short!

Why keep it simple? Why not go for it right off the bat? Mistakes, they are part of the learning process. Learn on the simple stuff and grow your goals as you grow your mind.

97% more effective

When competing against other people your success rate with using re-programming goals is 97% more effective for the simple reason that 97% of people don't do it. It's only when you get into the top 3% of achievers that you'll run into some competition. At the Olympic level for instance, everyone sets goals. Some athlete's goals are clearer than others and stuck to more consistently. We call them the winners.

In the book What They Don't Teach You In The Harvard Business School, Mark McCormack tells of a study conducted on the students of the 1979 Harvard MBA program. In that year the students were asked; "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?" Only 3% had. 13% had goals, but they were not in writing and 84% had no goals other than finishing school.

Ten years later the members of that class were interviewed again and the findings were remarkable. The 13% who had goals but were not written, earned on average twice as much as the other 84% with no goals. The 3% with clear written goals and a plan to accomplish them were earning ten times as much as the other 97% Combined!

If that doesn't clarify the power goals on the subconscious mind and conscious activity for you; then you might just be looking for something else. Now those Harvard students with the goals probably already had different programming than most of us and they knew what they were looking for. We, however have the opportunity to re-program ourselves for anything we want.

There are other, more powerful techniques that I have learned and used as well including meditation, alpha inducing music, neuro linguistic programming and self hypnosis. we'll get into that later but just using what we learned so far can be so powerful and effective and is a great starting point.

So I say "Let's do it!"

Ermin Fergerstrom

The Secret (To Martial Arts Mastery)

A large part of my life story has evolved from a simple introduction to Judo from my father when I was just a little one. During the summer breaks of my Kindergarten and First Grade years, dad sent me to Judo lessons like he had done as a child. I had some fun there but never thought much about it after those two summer lessons were done. When I think about it though, from that point on I always had a fascination with the Martial Arts. This finally lead me to pursue Karate on my own as a Junior in High School. That is where my story really unfolds.

My first real instructor was Bully Endo, a Kempo Black belt under Marino Tiwanak of Aliamanu and also a Black belt in Aikido. I can't remember his Aikido affiliation but can attest to his prowess in applying it to a tough young man who at only 17 years of age was much heavier and stronger. Ouch! He was an old school, hard core type that commanded our respect and focus during class.

After training with him for a couple of years, he started bringing up some special "Secret Training" he was willing to do out of his home for only a few dedicated students. We would have to prove ourselves first, by not missing any classes and working harder than we ever had before. Week after week he would ask who wanted to take part in the private classes and every week the same four of us would raise our hands, only to be told that we needed to work harder at our exercise and perfect our forms better. After I don't know maybe six months of this he finally agreed we were ready and scheduled the first of our weekly Saturday "Secret Training" I was the youngest and least experienced one to make the team.

I still remember how thrilled I was to be included in this special class, I really thought I had "made it" as an elite Martial Artist. How many people could say that they had earned the right to receive special "secret training" from their Master. Saturday finally arrived and we all showed up half an hour early so as not to possibly get delayed and be late. (Why doesn't that apply as much to my students? Guess I gotta get tougher on them.) Visions of flashy moves, Pressure points and Dim Mak were racing though my head. First class starts, OK get warmed up, go run around the block about three times, so we head down the street, turn the first corner and look up the long hill of the "block" - errr, this is going to be hard. We run around at as fast a pace as we can muster, to impress upon him how serious we are. Running back to our starting point, huffing and puffing we automatically line up in our formation by rank. OK knuckle push ups, we look down, standing there in an asphalt parking lot with all kinds of loose gravel and tiny remnants of broken beer bottles from late nights past. We drop down, not daring to brush some of the gravel aside, and start. We never had a count for our exercises or moves, he would just clap his hands and we would do one slow push up and hold on top until the next clap. Clap, clap, clap on and on. The clapping started to get a little fainter after a while and using our peripheral vision (we wouldn't dare turn our heads) we notice him walking over to the neighbors yard and talking to him, all the while, clap, clap clap. And so it went on through our whole, same exercise routine that we did every day in our other, non secret classes, only it was about doubled in length. After that we lined up in formation and started back on the very same basic, day one moves we had learned years ago. Line up, horse stance, straight punch, right, left, clap clap clap. Reminds me of Vince Lombardi's now immortal words, "Gentlemen, this is a football". After two and a half hours of this we were finally excused, "Good job, see you all back in class Tuesday".

Back in class on Tuesday, Sifu told us that we did really good and were on our way to learning the true secret of the Masters, we just needed to get in better shape first and perfect our basics, then we would be ready. And so it went, each week in class we were told to stay focused so we could move along with the secret training more quickly and each Saturday we would do a horrendous work out and repeat what we had learned in class years before. Front kick, side kick, round house kick, straight punch, back fist, clap, clap, clap.

Then it happened, one student asked "when are we going to learn something new?" I'll talk to you about it after class, he was told. Next Saturday he wasn't there.

About the same time I had Graduated from College and was ready to go out into the world. After much thought and discussions with my instructor, I decided to move to Maui. I told him that his class was the biggest thing keeping me from moving on and I really wanted to stay and train with him. He told me that I was a young man and I would have the rest of my life to train and to move on, follow my dream.

After I moved the special training died off as there were only two of them attending and one guy had a new job that didn't allow him to make every class. I did however come back home to visit my family twice a month and would always show up for one class at the dojo while I was there.

I appreciated my time training at that small dojo in my friends back yard but always wished I could have finished my secret training. It took me years to find another Karate class that even came close filling my need for hard core training. At my other classes in the coming decades my instructors would always comment on how good my straight punch was and my side kick, my round house kick. I was used time and time again as an example of how everyone should be training. I was even told a couple of times that my intensity and focus was too much and I needed to relax a little bit, "you don't need to put so much power into every punch, you might give yourself internal injuries" I need to mention here that was in reference to my moves in the air or on the heavy bag and punching board, I always had far more control than most of my training partners in live sparring.

Fast forward thirty years and I'm Teaching a class at Brazilian Freestyle Jiu-Jitsu in Wailuku Maui. After some minor whining by a few guys I start telling them about training in the old days in Hawaii. I had just finished a really gruesome work out and every one was beat. I told them about my old instructor and how we had to do hundreds of knuckle push ups in the gravel. I told them about the secret training that was even harder than all the regular classes. I was starting to tell them that I never found out what the secret...was........really........about, when it hit me. I had known it all along and just didn't recognize it! I was a model student and excelled through every art faster than anyone else in my classes. And I had just put my own students through the hardest training and most repetition of basics they had ever encountered. Train, Train, Train, Train. Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap. That was the secret, silly old guy never told us and silly young guys never figured it out until we got much older.

Since then I have trained many students in BJJ and Mixed Martial Arts with incredible results, I have helped to create many Champions and I don't tell them but I use the "Secret" all the time.

aloha Ermin Fergerstrom

Today I Choose to Live Like a Champion

Today is just another day. No different than most others that come and go. Some days stand out in history, others just slip by unnoticed by the masses. Every day however stands out in someones life, whether that day has brought great joy, great insight or great sadness, it stands out for someone. Where you and I are at today, no matter what it brings, is an accumulation of all the choices made in our past. Some choices were made by others, our parents, our teachers, our role models as we grew up. The choices they made helped to shape our philosophy and that in turn was the driving force behind most of the choices we made later in life. Some choices were made by our Government (usually intended for the good of the people) After all it's those we chose to represent us that formed our Government right? It may seem that some choices made by others around us like our bosses, senior personnel, Politicians, lousy neighbors, negative relatives, etc. may have an effect on our circumstances. Mostly though, it's the choices we've made on a daily basis that have formed our own life's reality. Every decision we make on a daily basis, large or small, like the Butterfly Effect, is shaping the reality of our future.

Today I choose to shape a better future. With all my daily actions, compounded over time, my future is inevitable.

Today I will show my love for my family. Assuring them that I will do everything I can -to be around in healthy form- for as long as I can. I will speak the words but more importantly I will speak with my actions. I will choose to eat healthy and nutritious food (and MAX) and drink lots of clean water. I won't count calories but I will make calories count. I will stop when I've had enough so I won't have to "work off" the extra calories. I will make my calories work for me. To every bite I take I will say, -you owe me- some energy, some strength, some vitality.

Today I choose to strengthen my body. To stretch, to exercise, to build muscle and build endurance. I will strive to keep my body in the optimum human form, to perform as it was designed to. I am an elite athlete.

Today I choose to strengthen my mind; to educate myself. Through continuous education I can expand my capabilities infinitely. I will seek out and acquire knowledge from the greatest minds in human history. I will read the best books, listen to the greatest speakers and listen to my own thoughts, always seeking the most relevant answers to life's daily questions. To make the best choices.

Today I choose to lead a clean, sober lifestyle. I will not damage my brain with mind altering substances. My mind is my greatest asset. Why would I want to diminish it's capacity?

Today I choose to be productive. I will not waste my time on mindless endeavors. I will plant the seeds for future success. Only if I plant, can I expect to harvest. Money after all is just a measure of our service to the world. If I want to help many people I must help them to be productive and produce more bounty for everyone. I will find a way to serve the many, for service to many leads to greatness.

Today I choose to show gratitude. For everything I have and for everything that is possible. Gratitude for everything God has given us. We live in a wonderful world. I know we are far from perfect but I will always be grateful and try to improve.

Today I choose to honor my Parents, my teachers, my mentors. They are the ones who have built me into what I am. I will always have gratitude for what they have taught me. I will keep all the best and improve on the rest. Today I will continue building to become what I want to be. I will honor those who failed me, those who brought great challenge to my life. They are the ones who set the bar so high on what I am able to endure. After getting past those difficult situations, everything else seems easy in comparison.

Today I choose to set aside some time for myself. I need time to rest, time to enjoy life's pleasures, time to focus, so that I can be rejuvenated to function at my top potential.

Today I will defend the innocent. I will defend the helpless and those that have not yet learned to defend themselves. I will teach people to honor and respect themselves and by doing so they will learn to honor and respect others. I will teach people to defend themselves and by doing so, empower them to lead fulfilling lives. I will never knowingly teach self defense to those with bad intentions, those who will use martial arts inappropriately.

Today I choose to give back, not to those who make poor choices but to those that do not have the same choices or opportunities as the rest of us. I will give to those in need, to those who suffer, to those whom I can lift up and motivate. I will give back to my planet, it's the only one I have right now and it needs some help. Only through giving can I learn how to live a full life. Only through giving can I learn how to be thankful for what I have. Only through giving can I learn how to receive.

Today I choose to take full responsibility for my circumstances. Only by doing so can I control my future. If I find blame in others, I lose power. By finding excuses, I always have a reason for failing. I will not blame. I will not make excuses. I will persevere until I succeed.

Today I choose to focus on what is good. Our mind always fixates on our most predominant thoughts. If we choose to focus on what is wrong, our minds and our actions will gravitate towards those thoughts. I will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and my actions will follow my thinking.

Today I choose to make a difference. I choose not to just sit back and see what the day brings. I choose to bring something to the day, to do one thing better. I choose to set an example for my family, friends and acquaintances. With every step I take, I will ask; Where is this leading? What will this accomplish? I will choose to respond to life's circumstances, rather than react to them, to make today the foundation for all the days that follow.

Today I choose to leave a legacy, to inspire, teach and train others to make wise choices for their future. To make wise choices for their family, friends and acquaintances. I know I will not always make the right decision and I forgive myself. I understand that I am not perfect but will try to catch myself and correct when I can. I will understand that not everyone will be ready to change but I will continue to set an example, to inspire and motivate to the best of my abilities.

Today I choose to write down my thoughts, so I may pass them down to others and maybe one day inspire someone I have never met. Tomorrow is another day. But today, I choose to Live my Life Like a Champion.

Ermin Fergerstrom

Wake up story

Aloha Everyone This is my story published in Bouncing Back Thriving in Changing Times...... of the Wake Up, Live the Life You Love series

The Missing Number

Ermin Garret Fergerstrom

Bouncing Back

By most measures of success, one would say I've done fairly well in my life. I have much to be grateful for and many accomplishments that would likely make another's life-goals list. Like many, I've had my share of ups and downs and endured some very trying times, but always seemed to bounce back quite well. In fact, you could almost say I specialize in it. I could describe the hardship I endured to recover from my adversity, but it would pale in comparison to other people who were far greater than me. You will probably hear from some of them in this very book. not to mention giants like Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela and Lance Armstrong.

My story really begins after I'd finally made it back from suffering the greatest setback of my life and I realized that something was amiss. With a lot of hard work, determination and a string of good fortune, I hit what appeared to be my highest level of achievement. I had built my business up to a much greater level and put my family life in order. At first glance, things were looking up. I had built my assets considerably, but at the same time I was sinking even deeper in debt.I couldn't help but notice those around me who were unable to produce half the results I did but were still making more money than me. I finally had to admit I was a bad steward of money. I still remember exactly where I was standing when it happened. I resolved right then to work out my financial problems. I knew I was talented enough; anything I set my mind to, I could achieve. So why couldn't my finances equal my contributions? This was the beginning of a rocky road toward personal development where I discovered many painful truths about myself.

If God had done a progress report on me at that time, it might have went something like this: "He's a good guy; he has lots of potential; he is hard working and very sincere. He has to work on his people skills though. He doesn't work well with others and is a little arrogant, not to mention stubborn as a mule. I think he'll get it sooner or later."

Unlike Robert Kiyosaki, I was never fortunate enough to meet my "Rich Dad" as I grew up in Hawaii. My "poor" parents did a very good job overall and instilled in me many great traits. The word "impossible," for instance was not allowed in my vocabulary. I'll never forget some of the arguments my dad and my brother had on the topic. "Nothings impossible" The words still echo in my head. The only thing impossible was trying to win an argument with dad about what was or wasn't possible. My parents instilled many other important life skills in us as well, but they also made some small, yet crucial mistakes. One that sticks out in particular is, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." That was one of my mantras for years.

I realized that I needed to find a good "Rich Dad" for a mentor, but where? It was very slow going for someone who "knew everything." After a couple of years reading and research, I finally figured out where to meet not just one great mentor, but dozens of them. It was in the local bookstore that I found the answers to all my questions.

To reach my full potential, I needed to increase my productivity, to find a way to serve the many. One of the first and most difficult lessons I needed to learn was effective partnering, but where could I find a partner that would do the job as good as I? My arrogance was comical. After all of my mediocre success in business, I still though I knew it all. Of course, I eventually came to realize that more qualified people had been standing right in front of me all along.

Many more lessons were necessary to finally bring me to a point where I could address my largest hurdle. It was hard to recognize at first because the effects were so subtle. I had reached a point where most of the numbers to the success combination were in place. I knew what I had to do in terms of my goals, setting priorities, communication and all the other tracks of success, but there was always a reason I couldn't apply one thing or another at any given time.

I was reading a book by one of my favorite authors when it hit me like a ton of bricks! Throughout my childhood, my parents had inadvertently prejudiced me against wealthy people. It might have simply been a slightly different tone of voice used when referring to "rich people," or comments like, "We can't afford that; do you think we're millionaires?" But it was effective. When I looked back at all of my financial goals, the word "wealth" was never mentioned, and the "M" word (million) was conspicuously missing. I used terms like "gross X dollars per year and invest profits until I can live comfortably." Of course the problem was I had grown comfortable living in debt.

Have you ever had a lifelong stigma lifted from your shoulders? It's so liberating that I can only compare it to the sensation of flying in your dreams.

I have a clear vision now and I would like to re-introduce myself. Ermin Fergerstrom, future best selling author, renowned public speaker, generous philanthropist and multimillionaire!

My question to you is, "What number is missing from your combination?" Whether it regards your finances, relationships, health or anything else, there's a great author somewhere out there pouring his heart out for you. Find that author and read like your success depends on it, because it does and you will never look back. Remember, no single book or audio program will be the end to your training; there is more good material out there than there are days in your life. Be a life long learner. Never stop at merely bouncing back. Bounce higher, fly higher than you ever dreamed possible, because nothing is impossible.

Ermin Garret Fergerstrom